Wednesday, August 29, 2007

The verdict is in!

And I am pregnant! Steve and I are truly in shock. We've been told "no" over and over for 2 years - neither one of us knew how to react to a yes! I took a home pregnancy test Sunday, and had it confirmed by blood Monday. When I took the test Sunday night, we were both afraid to go in the bathroom to look at it. It took us a few moments (and a quick prayer) to work up the courage to do it. Honestly, I'm still not sure I believe it!

I had blood drawn Monday and today. The numbers were right where they wanted them to be. My thyroid is a little out of whack, which is normal, so Dr. Keenan has increased my meds just a bit. Other than that, I am continuing along my normal regimen. Thankfully, they have not put me on supplemental progesterone.

So, what is next? My favorite .... another big waiting game. We go in for an ultrasound on the morning of September 18. By that time, we should be able to hear a heartbeat. We didn't make it that far last time, so we are both a bit anxious. But I feel good about everything. Conditions are more ideal this time than they were the last, so we're trying to keep positive thoughts going! The ultrasound will not only confirm that the baby (an embryo, actually) is growing, but also how many are in there. Oh my! They're still giving us lots of warnings about multiple births (not warnings because of health risks, more just to minimize shock value if it comes to pass), so that will be an added bonus for us. I say if we have 2 great - then we won't have to go through this again! 3 or more, I'll get back to you.

Physically, I am feeling fine. My abdomen is still quite tender because of my freakishly large ovaries. I am told that the bloated feeling I have may not go away for quite some time. Needless to say, I'm glad I held on to my "fat pants" when I lost weight earlier this year. I'm having a few problems sleeping, only because I am a stomach sleeper. I've discovered thats just not an option when pretty much your whole front side is sore. Steve is loving this new predicament - when I'm on my back I apparently snore like a freight train! Doesn't seem to bother me though!

Our next prayer request really is for the continued growth of the embryo(s), and that we will hear a hearbeat (or two) when we go in for our ultrasound. And, again, that we don't go crazy in the meantime. I truly believe with all of my heart that all of you have had a part in this pregnancy. God has heard every one of our prayers, and He will continue to hear them when we send them up, as I know you have been. He is so faithful, isn't He? The only thing I can really think of to say, at the risk of sounding like an overpaid, underworked, spoiled athlete, is TO GOD BE ALL THE GLORY!!!

Friday, August 24, 2007

Almost there!

I can't believe that day after tomorrow we'll know something. I think I'm ready, for better or worse. Just to let those of you following our journey know, I haven't decided exactly when I'll post our news. There are obviously many of you who we will want to tell before we put it on the blog. I promise you won't have to find out the big stuff on the internet!! I'm thinking Monday after I see the doctor or Tuesday. I will eventually get around to it.

This is a bit weird - something I didn't anticipate when I started this whole thing. As I am sure you know, most people wait til they are safely through the first trimester before sharing the big news. Steve and I have no intention of doing that this time around. Mainly because when we do find out we're pregnant, we'll need all of the prayers we can get that my body will maintain it. For us, getting pregnant is only half of the battle! (Though, arguably the most important part!)

We're heading out to Bristol today for the big race. We'll be testing when we get home Sunday. Surely I can make it 2 more days!

Sunday, August 19, 2007

Next Stop: Blastocysts

Well, I haven't updated all week. mainly because I've been doing my very best not to think about everything. My mind tends to run away from me at times, and if I let myself think too much right now, I'll go crazy! Fortunately, we've had lots of distractions this week, so it hasn't been too bad. I have been extremely busy at work (I'll take it right now) and we had a lovely weekend at Fall Creek Falls with the family. I can't believe we're already halfway through our 2ww (thats fertility lingo for the dreaded "2 week wait".) So close!

I sort of broke a promise I made to myself this week, and Lori caught me in the act at work. My curiousity got the better of me and I did a little research. All in the name of science, of course. If everything is going as it should (and I still recognize that it is a big if), we should now be in the blastocyst phase. Sounds exciting! Blastocysts form when zygote(s) actually attach itself/themselves to the lining of the uterus, thus establishing a blood source from the mother. It can occur anywhere from 6-10 days post ovulation. I also read (and you can believe everything on the internet) that a blastocyst is barely detectible by the human eye, smaller than the dot on the letter "i". Amazing, isn't it? That we all started out visible only to our Maker?

The next step, hopefully, is embryos. Hard to believe a week from today we should know something. I have an appointment with Dr. Keenan next Monday at 11:00, and we'll talk about one of two things. When do we start another round of shots, or what steps do we need to take to help maintain a pregnancy? You know which Steve and I prefer, as I am sure you all do! I am trying to prepare my heart and mind for whatever God has chosen to do with the latest round of medicine. We can only do so much.... the rest is entirely in His hands.

Honestly, this has been one of the most difficult things I have ever had to do. I am sure Steven would say the same thing. I can't say enough how much we both appreciate the care, concern, thoughts, encouragement, support, love and everything else you all have done for us. And, most of all, for the prayers. For patience, for the blessing of children, for zygotes, for blastocysts, for my health, for courage for Steve to give me the shots, for everything. We could not have made it this far without you. Keep them coming!

Saturday, August 11, 2007

Stick a fork in me .....

I am done! The procedure was fine this morning. It took a little longer than yesterday, because, again, my insides had shifted around and Mary had a few problems finding everything. But once she found what she was looking for, she said she had a great shot. I have been sore today, but I am taking it easy. The soreness is going away as the day wears on. I won't give you the gory details, but Jenny says a uterus is about the size of a fist and flat. So anytime you manipulate it, it just gets sore. It's all worth it though - I would've done just about anything they asked me to!

Steve had another stellar performance today. Though we didn't get an official count, Mary said it looked really, really good. Since we were the only people there this morning, she let us look at a sample under the microscope. Those boys were swimming like crazy on that little slide! If they were half as excited as they appeared to be, surely one of them found a good follicle!

The next part, for me, is the hardest part. The only thing we have left to do is wait. I'll take a home pregnancy test in 2 weeks, and go see Dr. Keenan in about 2 1/2 weeks to discuss the results and next steps. I'm sure they'll confirm anything through blood work. Thankfully, Steve and I will be occupied the next 2 weekends, so hopefully it won't drag by. My mind is filled with so many possibilities. Part of me is excited, part of me doesn't want to let myself feel anything yet. Laying on the table today (I have to lay still on the exam table for 15 mintues afterwards), we turned it over to God again. At this point, it's all we can do!

We are getting so close. Thank you for the continued prayers!

Friday, August 10, 2007

This could be dangerous!

Everything went great today, as far as I know. If all of the medicine is working like its supposed to, I think we've had a pretty good round. Steve stayed with me the whole time today, which I am very thankful for. He has re-arranged his work schedule so he can be with me the whole time tomorrow as well. He actually switched with another salesman for a Saturday shift the morning of UT's home opener. That's true dedication! I'm not sure if that speaks more of his love for me or the current status of our football program. Probably a little bit of both!

Speaking of Steve, he truly stepped up to the plate today. (TMI WARNING!) When Mary walked into our room she said "this could be dangerous!" When Steve gave his first sample many moons ago, his count was 75 million, which, believe it or not, is average. Today it was 350 million!! Needless to say, he was quite proud of himself! Per his explanation, he was never a good "practice player." But he could lay it all on the line when game time rolled around. He had "played" this particular field before, so there wasn't as much pressure for the visiting team. So, you figure the odds. 350 million sperm looking for (hopefully) 4-5 matured eggs ..... we are praying that something will hit!

We go in for round 2 at 8:00 in the morning. I don't imagine it will be any different than it was today. Of course, we'll be looking to get all of our post-procedure instructions tomorrow. Then its the big waiting game, and as many prayers as I can get that I don't go completely crazy in the meantime. Thank you, thank you, thank you for your love, support and prayers. I know God hears each and every one!

Praying for zygotes now! ( with many thanks to Brandon for updating my fertility vocabulary!)

Thursday, August 9, 2007

GO TIME!!!!

Well, we got the green light this morning. Steve went to the doctor with me this morning to check out the new phenomenon sweeping the fertility nation - my ovaries. Mary and Jenny eventually quit measuring all of my follicles because they ran out of room on my chart. I'm not exaggerating. My ovaries are so big right now they had shifted in my body since yesterday - took a little bit of time to find ol' lefty, which is apparently residing slightly above my barely detectible uterus. I'm not sure Steve knew what to think of it all, though he did ask if we could aim to fertilize the egg that would turn into a left-handed pitcher. Thats my Steve, always thinking ahead.

The next steps are the BIG ones. Everything we have done this far is to get my body ready for the procedure. Steve will give me a "trigger shot" tonight which will cause the mature follice(s) to drop. We go in to the doctors office at 1:00 tomorrow afternoon for our first IUI (=Intrauterine Insemination= PC term for Artificial Insemination= "do not pass go, do not collect $200"). Then I'll go back for a second round Saturday morning around 8. The procedure doesn't require hospitalization, only an office visit. Each should only take an hour or so. Well, the procedure itself will be very quick, but I think I have to lay around for awhile to make sure everything goes where it should. Though I can't provide lots of details, the instrument has bascially been described to me (thank you, Lori) as a "turkey baster". Doesn't that give you a great visual? It just makes sure that everybody meets up like they're supposed to. And hopefully the left handed sperm will find a left handed egg (it will have several to choose from, I think) so we can have our left handed pitcher and plan for an early retirement.

My wonderful Memaw sent me an email earlier today that she likely didn't know was EXACTLY what I needed to hear. It had the following verse in it: He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus. (Phillipians 1:6) I believe it. God knows the deepest desires of our hearts, all of our hopes and our dreams, and He is absolutely faithful to help us fulfill them. Maybe not always in our time or our way, but He WILL NOT let us down. I have been praying for God to fulfill our deepest desire - for children - and I know without a doubt that He will. Now, of course, would be ideal. :) Thank you for praying for us and with us. We truly are indebted to you. And I hope, one day, when you hold our kids, you know that you were a big part of the miracle that brought them into this world.

Wednesday, August 8, 2007

Grapes!?!

I'm in the midst of my marathon of doctors visits now. Thats a good thing - it means we are getting close!! Still don't know much about the bloodwork, though it is being done every time I go in. They are keeping me at 3 amps because I seem to respond better to it.

My ultrasound was VERY positive this morning. Nurse Jenny says my ovaries look like a big bunch of grapes. It was kind of funny - they let me look at the screen, and I have so many follicles right now that my poor uterus is being squeezed down to nothingness. They got a kick out of it because apparently its rare to get a good shot of the (suffocating) uterus and both ovaries at the same time. For those of you who don't know, this is actually the second time my ovaries have been a source of medical wonderment. Dr. Fields, my OB/GYN, uses an ultrasound photo of my ovaries taken about 2 years ago to demonstrate a classic, picture perfect case of PCOS in his lectures at UT Hospital. I'm famous! Well, part of me anyway. Needless to say, I'm feeling a bit bloated today!

Before you start thinking we're having 12 kids this go around, only 4-5 of my follicles are big enough to transform to potential eggs. So no septuplets this month, only quints. Just kidding! It is highly unlikely that all of them would be fertilized.

I'm going back in tomorrow morning because Dr. Keenan says we are very, very close. As soon as we get the thumbs up, Steve will be giving me a "trigger shot", which makes the mature eggs drop. They gave me the meds today. Then we go in for the back to back IUIs. And hopefully the sanitized sperm will be injected straight to and will find my medically generated egg, and the plan will come together. I'll certainly pass along another update after my appointment tomorrow. When it is officially "go time" we will need all of the prayers we can get!

Monday, August 6, 2007

Off and Running

I think I've about figured this thing out - the basics anyway. Don't know how good I'll actually be about posting, but I'm going to do my very best to keep everyone up to date! For those of you who have been on the journey with us since the beginning, I would love your input on my first real foray into the 21st Century. Do you prefer my long winded TMI emails? Or do you like the new TMI blog? Either way, its safe to say that you may be getting TMI if you dare to take this adventure with us!! Love you all! Keep prayin'!