Childbirth 101

Well, we had quite an interesting weekend ... we attended our all day marathon childbirth class on Saturday. Being a woman and avid reader of What to Expect When You Are Expecting, I was prepared for the day. More than anything, I wanted to actually see the birthing facility at St. Mary's so I would have peace of knowing where I would be when the big moment arrived. Steve was not so excited about it. His initial reaction ... as long as Dr. Fields knows how to deliver the baby, why do we need to go learn about it?

First off, there were some hard-core couples in the class who brought sprial notebooks and had them filled by the days end. I took all of my notes in the blank spots of a handout they gave everyone about local pediatricians. It was all the room I needed. I had to side with Steve on that one. When I'm in the birthing suite, I don't think either of us is going to be flipping through the loose leaf trying to remember what the nurse said. We'll just ask ... she'll be right there for goodness sake. The guy sitting next to us (definately a note taker) actually asked "How many unnecessary c-sections are performed in this hospital?" Really? What did he expect to hear? "Sir, I would guess that at least half of all surgeries performed here are completely unnecessary!" It takes all kinds, I guess. Steve was rolling with it all until the dreaded video. He was pretty pumped that everything to that point was just drawings. But after lunch, that all changed ....

Steve has now decided that he will camp out in the waiting room circa 1976 and wait for the doctor to come out and say "Congratulations! You have a healthy baby girl!" He also pointed out, quite wisely I think, that if the childbirth video were shown in high schools we could drastically reduce the number of teenage pregnancies. He's probably right. I must say, I was not all that thrilled with the video either. Can I wait in the waiting room with Steve?

The best part is when the nurse started talking about how some doctors will now allow the father to help deliver the baby. That is, once the head is out and the cord is tended to, the father can actually pull the baby the rest of the way out. (Steve is getting paler and paler as this discussion continues.) At this point, and I am NOT making this up, Steve raised his hand and asked "Can we get a discount if we do that?" The nurse was a little caught of guard and the note-taking dads shot us a few looks, but it garnered quite a chuckle amongst the other couples in the room. Boy, I sure hope we are as lighthearted about everything on the big day! I know it will be stressful, but Steve and I like to laugh. A lot. So I'm hopeful that we'll get some nurses who will laugh right along with us.

We survived the day. My apologies to any of my note-taking friends out there. I think the less I know, the better. When it comes to the minute details of childbirth, I have decided that ignorance is bliss.